Monday, August 23, 2010

a place in and out inside my head


i'm just past the age of 23..and still don't know how long this mind can still alive while this machine is getting old with lots of broken parts that don't know how to fixed it.
still confused where's the best path to go through
and still can't make my family proud with me..
all my dreams seems so blurred and i even can't recognized it anymore..

i feel so awry. when all the things that i have done became wrong in your eyes.
maybe you still didn't know me much more, and it's my fault that i make this gap with you long time ago.
i rarely make some good chat with you..
i always run away when you try to come close and hug me..
i wasted my time in street better in your side..
but i swear i don't know what must i do..although i must go back to the past. it seems so foolish..

please, forgive me..
in this age..and after it..i'll do my best for you..
i try not to make you sad anymore..
i'll let you proud having such a boy like me..even for now, its still far away from hope..
but i'll try..

goodbye 22 with all the good, sad, pain, joy, laugh, tears, brokenhearted, all all the messed up that i've got..

Friday, August 13, 2010

my FIXIE on my own perception


"Don't be afraid to ask lots of questions. If anyone makes you feel dumb for trying to learn more about your bike, that person is a jerk. Also ride whatever bike you feel best on. If anyone makes you feel bad about the kind of bike you ride, that person is also jerk. You want a bike that you're going to be excited to get onto every day, and it really doesn't matter what kind of bike that is. Its different for different people. For me, I thought it would be a badass road bike, but its actually an old steel behemoth with a ladies frame. If you have a bike that you really don't feel comfortable on, don't blame yourself, blame the bike. Try something else. when you love your bike and you feel comfortable on it, you're going to want to ride."

—Molly Kleinman of Common Cycle, responding to the question “What advice would you give to those new to cycling, especially women?” on LGRAB
*taken from: the-bicyclette.tumblr.com, 6th august 2010

do you know that i just have a new bike? officially it was started around early on july and it fully made on august 1st, 2010. i made a fixed gear bike or maybe people like to say it with fixie, nice name right :) it took so long to build my bike, it almost a month to make it real. on it way to be a full bike, there are a lot of problems that i get, start from the material that very hard to get, the price that can be so ridiculous for me, or maybe from the finishing that so messy. but all that story was make me more proud with my bike. why? because i made it with lots of story behind of it, there's a happier side, bad side, and maybe a disappointed side --" *sigh for a while..

everyone have their taste on what they like or dislike. And it just related too with how good your fixie was. Some people said that it was a good bike and the other said it like a rubbish behind of it. I really appreciate with people that can appreciate what other people have, better than some people that always judge and always complaining. And what i want to said is, whatever people have and done with their bike or maybe something else, it will doesn't matter for us to always give them respect for all what they have. make other people happy is a best way to make us happy too :) Never make other people sad with all the things that we said. For some people that think that they are a professional, please think back again that you also have start from zero to just like me and other people do. We all have being a newbie. Start and learn from zero to be a hero someday. So never under estimate what other people have..
if it just about style that you have in your eyes, then fuck you!!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Don't Even Believe With Your Mind

Do you feel ever broken hearted or being dumped?
your life feel so empty then you can't run away..
even the best place can be your damn place ever.

yes..this movie a little bit tell us about those kind of story..
a guy who suddenly being broke by his girl friend without any reason that can accepted by the man..its must be hurt to be the guy to face this problems, how can't the women that he really love became a monster that eat him alive!! the guy's name is Peter Bretter and his girlfriend is Sarah Marshall.

okay, enough for the outline the story continues with the man journey that trying to forget his ex girlfriend's Sarah. just like the others guys that when he got some problems than he will run away to his bestfriend (dan disitulah sesungguhnya tempat kembalinya segala perkara pastilah ke teman..dan itulah guna teman ketika kita sedang mengalami kesusahan dan saatnya senang thats the time to forget them :P haha..) every thing has been done. Even doing a lot of sexual activity, but when it doesn't based with love then it become useless.. more he try to forget Sarah, ore painful that he feel.

Once time his friend suggest him to go to Hawaii, at least to forget all the problems that he got, considering that he never got any vacation for along term. Finally he agreed with that idea then he go to Hawaii. But problems seems don't want to go from him fast, again all the purpose that he made to forgetting Sarah by going to Hawaii was miserable. he meet again with his Ex, Sarah. And the bad thing is that she was not lonely in that place because she brings her new boyfriend("what!! gila ini cewek" pikiran saya waktu itu..baru aj mutusin tiba2 sekarang udah punya gebetan baru.is that what we called good girl?) You know how sad Peter was..he cry all day and all night long..feeling desperate..the only vacation that he hope can bring him some brighter side in his life became a new disaster.

Tapi yg namanya musibah itu g bakalan datang terus..just like what Ra. Kartini said " after the darkness then will rise the brighter side". dan itulah yang akan dialami Peter selanjutnya.. when he got all the problems, lucky to him that there's a girl that always help him. She was the receptionist from the hotel where Peter's stayed, her name was Rachel Jansen. Until someday Peter think to make some relationship with that girl.Then he just try all the things to make the girl impressed with him when they have their first date, but poor for peter that it was ended with sad when he don't get Rachel kissed :P
The journey begin..Rachel seems start to enjoyed her time when she walk with Peter and thats the same like what Peter feel. Maybe because of their same background about loving someone, both of them had to feel broken hearted by their partner. Then, Sarah that know Peter was have a special relationship with Rachel look jealous with them, because of her boyfriend lack that never make her happy in psychological side. Then she try to react by show off his love with his boyfriend just to make Peter hurt again. But Peter just had his love and feel more comfortable with his situation right now, so Peter and Rachel was ignore what Sarah try to did with them..

In the end, Peter and Rachel meet in Peter's puppet show..and they decided to take their relationship into the next level..yeagh, after all the things that happen with them i think it was the best option for them to take that chance..

kadang, ketika kita menyukai seseorang maka imaginasi kita akan terbang jauh ke atas..sesuatu yang kecil akan dirasa besar dan sesuatu yg biasa akan menjadi luar biasa spesialnya bahkan taik kucing pun akan berasa coklat. itulah ajaibnya cinta. Namun ketika patah hati menyapa semua serasa terjungkal..ide-ide dan pemahaman tentang itu semua menjadi berbanding terbalik. Tak ada yang menyenangkan bahkan sedikit senyum pun akan berasa mahal harganya..
Tapi pernahkan merasakan ketika kita sudah merasa tersakiti oleh seseorang yang benar-benar kita sukai tapi justru orang tersebutlah yang sering muncul disekitar kehidupan kita. Entah bagaimana caranya semesta merancangnya tapi orang tersebut berasa tak bisa lepas dari kehidupan kita. Tentunya kita berpikir, Is he/she was the really one for me? yup, The One, someone that very special for us, that God have me for us to share all the happyness and even the sadness. Dan celakanya ilmu itulah yang saya anut..dan semenjak film ini muncul membuat semua ilmu di pikiran saya terbantahkan!! Bahwa tidak semua yang ditunjukkan semesta dan dirancang olehNya itu tidak selalu merujuk pada THe One yang selalu dicari-cari. Justru The One harusnya dicari even in some case The One will came after suddenly..tapi inilah yang dinamakan rahasia semesta..

Last, Don't even try to believe with your mind..prefer to believe your heart that will be more trusted better than anyone..