a place in and out inside my head

via: flickr.com

i'm just past the age of 23..and still don't know how long this mind can still alive while this machine is getting old with lots of broken parts that don't know how to fixed it.

still confused where's the best path to go through

and still can't make my family proud with me..

all my dreams seems so blurred and i even can't recognized it anymore..

i feel so awry. when all the things that i have done became wrong in your eyes.

maybe you still didn't know me much more, and it's my fault that i make this gap with you long time ago.

i rarely make some good chat with you..

i always run away when you try to come close and hug me..

i wasted my time in street better in your side..

but i swear i don't know what must i do..although i must go back to the past. it seems so foolish..

please, forgive me..

in this age..and after it..i'll do my best for you..

i try not to make you sad anymore..

i'll let you proud having such a boy like me..even for now, its still far away from hope..

but i'll try..

goodbye 22 with all the good, sad, pain, joy, laugh, tears, brokenhearted, all all the messed up that i've got..

"A Promise From The Past"

nothing even real when i see the fact..
everything seems like flash..it came and gone very fast..
until i know it hurt my eyes..
i just have promise to myself that i don't care
i don't want to distract myself again by your stare
and i have hang up my gun upon you
nothing will i ask again about you
nothing left
that i know is just you and someone that u beloved to..
love him just like i love you!!

Hide and Seek

Stiil have no courage for all the thing that I’ve dreamin before
Always being trap in my own situation that I choose
Don’t know when it will be end
Just try to hide and run as far as I can go
No one seems can help me now(or maybe I don’t need their help…)
I just drown more deeper than before
This heart seems unuseless anymore,if it can talk maybe it will be screamed loud!!
Im so tired..i want to stop this hiding and stop running..but how…??

why and why

Long time not write down this blog..
Ok,lets start this…a lot of thing that happen to me in this few day..the day that i fill with joy and happines but sometimes there are a lot of pain too there(damn, this is the part that I hate..)
Today..i wake up at 9am(hufh..always late again)
Oh I remember to go to hepi pupi, a place where we can sing a song, yeagh it’s a karaoke!!its me with my friends from lia(cv 4 ganks..haha..) who plan all of this..
A lot of song that we sing there.can u imagine we sing some “jadul” songs like from stinky,exist,and many more..haha..thats so funny there..we just like a ROCK STAR there but FAKE xP
--------------------…..
Hmm..forget all the joy for a while..for the truth I hate to write this down..
Oh God..g kbayang tadi bisa ada kejadian”itu”..whats Ur plan with me..im still cant understand with all that U give for me..it start with last morning when I dreams something that out of what can I imagine(just say it bad dreams)..ufh..wake up with an old problems that U gave for me..then in the afternoon, why I must have an idea to go to that damn place an then happen that moment..
I still try to make it all like an ordinary but if U always gave me something like this..i don’t know how can I survive then. I just hoped that still give another way to solve this problem. I dont know where should I run again. It seems that theres no one placa that I can hide from this situation…